Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
(Maya Angelou, excerpt from https://allpoetry.com/Phenomenal-Woman)
Maya Angelou saw the necessity. Maya understood. She had a story and she knew that we do too.
When I first started in aesthetics, it was solely to create a place of calm and relaxation. I recognized that I needed it and I suspected others did too. It is still my mission.
The world is wonderful and beautiful but it is also dangerous, scary and unpredictable.
If never before, we need a place of beauty to leave our fears; even if it is for a short time.
I started Love's Haven to be just that.
Now I see Love's Haven as a place of uplift as well.
In my previous post, I delved into my female mind. I touched on the experiences that I assume I was not alone to share. I'm sure when you were reading you were saying, "me too girl".
I had to un-learn that fear. I had to claim back the appreciation. I had to see past the negative and grow in the positive. I spent too long rejecting my ability to have children. I spent too long feeling shame that my lady bits had the ability to get me in 'trouble'. I spent too long not understanding my value.
But I'm here to tell you, there is something else...
"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today
To get through this thing called life
Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you there's something else"
(Prince, Let's Go Crazy courtesy of
https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/114771/Prince/Let's+Go+Crazy?msclkid=dd04ab1ecffa11ec98930f748dab0116)
We are here to get through this thing called life. We are here to uplift each other.
We were not taught correctly. We were taught that there is something wrong with us.
We learned that there is danger or shame, or sadness in being what we are created to be.
And that is a lie.
I grew up suspecting that being a woman is a weak thing. Being a woman is a temptation thing. Being a woman is a shameful thing.
I grew up thinking my vagina was 'bad' for the right things and 'good' for the wrong things.
And that is a lie too.
My vagina is the gateway to my womb. My womb was the gateway to life. It always housed future life. It was designed to be the keeper of lives that I would foster into this world. It safe-guarded those possibilities until the day they were born. It kept them safe. It delivered three healthy children and even successfully delivered one that didn't survive.
Being a woman is a gift. It was my God-given appointed gift.
Don't come gunning for me because you want to argue that we should be able to choose our pronouns or our genders. Not interested in your body, your choice. That is not my conversation. That is between you and your Creator to sort out.
This is about appreciating and over-coming possible wrong mindsets. This is about sharing that you are beautifully and wonderfully made.
Being a woman is a gift.
This is about us mending our relationship with ourselves.
I met women who are struggling to have children. I had friends who struggled with the process. I was blessed, even though no one told me, to have no issues in that area.
I listen to their stories and I wonder how much of it is a deep-rooted shame or disconnect they were taught about their "wombman"-ness.
The power of the mind is so amazing, I have seen it make a seeing person blind. (True story. It was my grandma. It was diagnosed as hysterical blindness. Lasted until the day she died).
I wonder how much of that mind power plays a part in the issues women have with fertility. It is a fact that many women struggle with it.
"Overall, across all ages, over 6 million women in America struggle with infertility, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services."
I'm not saying that there are not physical conditions that contribute to infertility. I'm just saying that somewhere, the mindset is playing a HUGE part in that segment. When I speak with my vaginal steaming clients, I hear their mindsets loud and clear.
I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist, but even I know when I'm hearing something awry. I'm not a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief but I know what I'm hearing is contributing to what they are struggling with.
In 2016, I heard about vaginal steaming. My spirit-person said "you have to know more about this". It resonated with me that it would be huge. At the time, I just thought of it as something cute to add to the spa and I quickly found somewhere to get certification so I would know the "basics".
The back of my mind would not let me be. I did a search and I found Steamy Chick Institute in 2017. My spirit-person nagged me to start taking this course to really understand vaginal steaming and its benefits.
I started the course, got to the final and dropped out.
What on earth am I doing? I just wanted to make a few dollars and add something trending to my spa menu.
I lost sight of my original WHY and couldn't figure out how this fit in.
Here we are in 2022, I'm back in my spa room and I'm looking around with new eyes.
After living through the crazy trauma of 2020, after enrolling in the Energetic Health Institute to learn holistic nutrition, I'm feeling purpose. I'm feeling HOPE. I'm feeling excitement. I'm discovering how the MIND, BODY AND SOUL is all connected.
(Did you know that there are studies showing the vagina-gut-brain connection?
Did you know that long-term use of oral contraceptives have been found to contribute to diminished gut flora?
Did you know that the gut flora microbiota is important to reproductive health)?
I don't know if what I do in Love's Haven will help more women birth beautiful babies by utilizing vaginal steaming and holistic nutrition.
I don't know if giving people a place to relax and unwind will make the world a better place when some of their stress washes down my sink.
I don't know if all the schooling I'm doing is going to matter one iota to anyone else.
I just know that my door is open to anyone who wants to partner together.
All I know is...that I want to try!
If you want to know more about vaginal steaming and it's amazing benefits for fertility, menopause, depression, anxiety, vaginal health (the list goes on)...I'll do my best to answer your questions and if i don't know the answers, I'll do my best to find them.
If you want someone who will encourage you, support you, and be your over-all cheer-leading team, then Love's Haven is for you too!
Being a woman is the most awesome gift I could have been given.
I hope you find the gift you have been given is the most awesome gift also.
Peace and light...and all that good stuff. May it be yours to take and yours to impart.
Toni
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